Relationships are a Reason to be Jewish

There are moments in my rabbinate that stick out as reminders of why I do this work.  I just returned home from one of those experiences.  The motivation to share it in this space of my blog came from my desire to use this place to respond to, not necessarily answer, the question, ‘Why Be Jewish?’  First, it may be important for me to share why it is even a question because for some, you either are or you are not.  Yet, today, in America, I believe the reality is different.  There is a choice.  Rabbi Jan Katzew articulated it well when he wrote in a piece presented to the Symposium on Jewish identity last fall that, “We are free to live as Jews and we are equally free not to live as Jews.”1  As American Jews we actively make a choice about Jewish life.  We no longer live in the shtetl, or on the lower east side.  There are no longer restrictions on the professions against Jews, or for admission to universities.  We can lead a completely American life, achieve as much as our neighbors, and this freedom makes Judaism a choice.  Rabbi Katzew continued, saying about the freedom we are afforded in America that, “The price of freedom is responsibility and we share the responsibility to make Judaism a compelling choice in a culture replete with choices.”2

So, now we must respond.  And, a response to this question came to me over burgers with former Confirmation students.  I discovered that the relationships that tie us together as a community, as a people through shared experience, is why we should be Jewish.  That is one reason we should engage with synagogue life and organized Jewish community.  There is a sense of belonging that makes a difference in peoples’ lives.

Three weeks ago, I bumped into two former Confirmation students.  When they were in my class, it was my first year as a rabbi at Temple Chai in Phoenix.  They were, to put it diplomatically, “active” students.  Yet, they were two of the five I brought to Washington DC for our Confirmation trip.  These two young men demonstrated a serious commitment to Jewish life, although they may not say it, nor was it easy to spot.  It was not until three weeks ago during our passing conversation about one of them going off to school that I noticed it.  They asked me, “So, when are we going to dinner...I am leaving for school?”  I jumped at the chance and tonight we enjoyed burgers, fries and great conversation.  They were curious what it was like to officiate a wedding.  While they kept saying thank you to me for dinner and for taking the time, I could not express enough thanks to them.  I am grateful that our relationship was strong enough and meaningful enough for them to care.  During our time together, I shared my reminiscences of them, our time in DC, and my hopes for them moving forward.  It was later in the conversation that they expressed to me that the class (Confirmation) was important to them.  These two young members of our community openly shared that it was that tenth grade experience that keeps the Jewish experience on their minds.  I firmly believe that one should be Jewish because of the relationships and community that results when we embrace the shared past and a future that is intertwined.     

1 Reflections on Jewish Identities, http://urj.org/learning/teacheducate/symposium/?syspage=document&item_id=30525. 2 Ibid.